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So Coach, what exactly was going on out there?
That’s the fucking million dollar question, isn’t it? Pretty easy to take it at face value and breakdown what’s working and what’s not. The offense works when the ball stays in the hands of Tre and JuCo on the ground. The passing game only works for about the first 15 yards down the field. Granted, playing Northwestern isn’t exactly like lining up against the Baltimore Ravens, but we’re grabbing every goddamm positive we can get. When we put together the extremely fucking short highlight film of 2011, you’re going to see a bunch of stuff from our offense from this game.
What you really want to talk about is the defense, right? Hell, you don’t even want to know about the front seven — the real question is what the fuck is up in the secondary? Well, the best way to put it is absolutely fucking nothing is working. Playing Northwestern was just another of about the three worst case scenarios we’ve faced. They’ve been running the same spread offense since I helped build it around 2000. They’ve also got smart kids who don’t make any mistakes — lots of juniors and seniors who’ve done the same things over and over. What we lined up against them were a bunch of freshmen — ones for whom we’ve tried to make this shit as simple as possible. Honestly, we’ve only got four or five different things we do out there with these guys. All week in practice, Mallory and Shelby run these fucking looks over and over until they get them right, but come game time when just one thing goes wrong we get burned pretty much every time. Why? I want to say ‘who the fuck knows’, but the real answer is young kids making mistakes, probably not enough of the right sort of coaching, and a very real gap in confidence. We’ve moved beyond our “come to Jesus” moment…
How much do we really need to talk about this game in detail? The offense looks like it’s making progress, to the point where we’re almost scoring enough points to win a game. The defense pulled an “Is what it is…”* today — they sure as fuck better show at least some semblance of improvement next week. Shouldn’t be that hard as almost anything will be better than that shitshow.
Any impressions of your first Homecoming as a Head Coach?
Looks like it’s a pretty goddamm good time… Perfect weather, great parade, great tailgate set-up. Not sure what’s up with the Todd Rundgren thing, but that’s not my choice. Must have been a pretty solid time for all of our fans out there in the parking lots until at least 12:30, as this was most definitely the most sorry-ass looking home crowd of the entire season. I got texts from people in Oklahoma saying that on TV our crowd looked just about right for a spring practice in Norman. Maybe some of you slapdicks put together your day so you could hit the tailgate hard, then get a nap in before going trick-or-treating over at Nancy Boy’s, but this shit will not fly in the long term.
Three games left in the next four weeks — what sort of goals should this team have?
How about win a fucking game? It’s the Big Ten, weird stuff happens. The collective slapdick opinion out there says we’ll have a chance against Purdue, but we’ll be lucky to stay within 30 of both Ohio State and Michigan State — who the fuck knows. Other than that, we’ll just keep trying to put some quality shit on film — teach these cats some skills and get them some reps.
Any special plans for Halloween, Coach?
I’ll be doing my best to make sure that my three teen/tween daughters don’t look like hookers… As for me, I’ll be taking the mustache out of the closet and going as Ron Swanson…
Is that it? Everybodycool? Gotta find me another pumpkin latte…