CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

Two things stuck out as the big lesson from this season: 1) it takes a chunk of time to get a team to “get it”  as to how we want to practice and play, and 2) it takes just about the same amount of time for a brand new staff to come together and figure out how to talk to their team to make #1 happen. It’s like learning a fucking foreign language, except while running through trash at the same time.

Lexy — what sort of questions do we have from Twitter?

From @robrexing: What was the key to those big runs from Stephen Houston in the Purdue game? Was it good execution? Matchups? Play design? Did you see something on film that allowed us to exploit a weakness of theirs?

1. The JuCo kid is pretty damn good. 2. Matte and Rahrig made some shit happen. 3. Purdue got caught in dropping into pass looks.

Look for a lot more of this sort of thing in 2012.

From @robrexing: What are your thoughts on the wildcat formation? We opened the game with it against Purdue and didn’t see it after that, but overall we’ve seen this off and on all season. What’s the thought process behind the formation with our personnel? Do you anticipate adding some wrinkles to it or scrapping it altogether?

I’d be hard pressed to say that the Wildcat look is going to disappear, but once we get a couple of big ass fullbacks into our running back rotation, it’s not going to be something that we’ll absolutely have to run multiple times a game trying to spare Tre some hits. Although we opened with Houston taking the snap, Kofi is the dude who’s going to keep growing into the Wildcat role. If we can bring in a fullback and also get some improvement in the vertical passing game, the Wildcat looks should be more effective.

@clayytonamore: @FakeCoachWilson Why take the ball out of Roberson’s hands? Run that shit up the middle.

Thanks for the vote of confidence in our O-line — Coach Frey will take you out for a Whopper. Otherwise, see the answer above. We like Tre a whole bunch — problem is that High School is a 19 year old kid who might go 180 by the second half of a game. Let’s not get too fucking greedy, slapdick.

@jjvarey: @FakeCoachWilson So we have the first pick in the draft, right? Who should we take?

A certain ginger mama’s boy went all Eli Manning on us if you know what I mean, and I think you do… Seriously, if Buster Brown winds up in South Bend, it’s just going to be that much better watching them underachieve, right?… But honestly, if college coaches had a draft of high school talent like the pros, I’d have to go with a monster run-stopper DT or a lockdown OT built like an goddamm office building with a 3.8 GPA.

Since that’s not how we do things right now, Hagen’s out there busy locking down this fucking state, Shelby’s working Louisiana, Smith is down in Florida, we’re out in Texas and I’m taking a look at some of the cats hung out to dry by Trudeau’s buddy Ron Zook. On top of that we’re going to let Ekeler loose on the JuCos again — somewhere out in the wilderness, Eke’s out there behind the wheel of the Holiday Rambler four Red Bull’s into his day looking to drag some serious talent back to Bloomington….

@mjgboilers: @FakeCoachWilson you know what is so funny about you guys is that you guys got beat yesterday by are Purdue Boilermakers yesterday bahahaha.

No real comment on this, just making sure everybody knows that I now know what sort of slapdicks we’re dealing with…. it won’t be forgotten.

#TheFCWFakePostgameShow 2011 Most Valuable Players: Mitch Ewald & Teddy Schell

Through 12 games, 3 quarterbacks, countless linemen & wide receivers, injured linebackers & defensive backs, about the only thing we had in terms of consistency was the work of place kicker sophomore Mitch Ewald and his senior holder Teddy Schell. When just about everything else seemed like it was going to hell in a handbasket, these two were the only part of our set-up that was locked down. 100% accuracy on PATs does not go-unfucking-noticed. Even better, what they did translated to real points on the board.

@FakeCoachWilson’s #VarsityLetters: these are guys who put some shit on film — the ones who made us learn their name this season early and often.

Tre Roberson, Stephen Houston, D’Angelo Roberts, Matt Perez, Max Dedmond, Justin Pagan, Will Matte, Collin Rahrig, Cody Latimer, Kofi Hughes, Adam Repogle, Greg Heban, Drew Hardin, Flo Hardin, Leon Beckum, Chase Hoobler, Bobby Richardson, Jeff Thomas, Mitch Ewald, Teddy Schell, Alexander Webb, Shane Wynn.

In addition to the cats above, every player who stayed on the roster from the first day of camp through the end of the 4th Quarter against Purdue deserves their fair share of recognition — like Bo Schembechler said during his first season at Michigan “Those who stay will be champions…”

#Helmetsticker of the Year:

The dudes who flew the #helmetsticker banner all season — kudos for buying in and showing up with your jaws locked each Saturday.

Everybodycool? Great… gotta get started on my Christmas shopping, maybe one of those bead seat covers for Ekeler….

Scott is joined by the ImMEDIAte reaction team of Jimmy (@JPCIV) & Tony (@hystericalIU) from IU Sport Comm to discuss:

• Danny Moore
• IU’s continued lack of defense
• VJ3
• Watford’s best position to play & Cody Zeller’s impact on this year’s team
• @ChronicHooiser then joins the group to share a few criticisms he has for Tony and the Hysterical Hoosiers
• Why Jimmy feels vindicated with Tre Roberson’s play

(We had some audio issues with Skype last night, so there are some audio issues with this podcast.  We apologize in advance)

Remember to subscribe to us on iTunes by clicking here & follow us on Twitter @CrimsonCast.

You can also e-mail us at : Scott@CrimsonCast.com. Now go spread the word!

CC 11-19-11 [ 45:25 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (618)

CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

Thankfully, a little more to talk about this week.

Coach, could you talk about what looked to be noticeable improvements with the team this Saturday?

Improvements? The first and foremost fucking improvement we were looking to achieve didn’t happen — putting a win on the board. We’re sure a hell of a lot closer, but due to some shit we’re going to clean up we still didn’t finish out what could have been a huge step forward.

Looking at the positives, this game feels like we’re finally starting to get positive production from all of our cats who’ve bought in. The good things that happened were manufactured by team efforts, like being able to sustain drives and not just surviving off of opportunities handed to us by the other team.

What we’re seeing out of Roberson at quarterback is pretty representative of what’s going on with our whole team. High risk/high reward — when High School gets things rolling and is able to throw the ball where he wants or goes and gets 12 yards on his feet running through trash, we feel pretty fucking good. When we get bit on the ass trying to do the same sort of things on either side of the ball, we look pretty stupid. Just look at Tre’s interception in the 4th Quarter or any of those big runs that Boom kid took off of us.

What I really liked to see was that this team could walk out into this bullring and keep there heads up for four quarters. When we’re successful in this league it’ll be because we’ll stay self-possessed in tough situations and win on the road. No better place to learn that about yourself than in Columbus.

In the past couple of weeks, Roberson and Houston took their game to the next level. Has the same thing happened on the defensive side? 

After about six separate “Come to Jesus” talks with Mallory and Ekeler, this game was the one where I actually feel that we started to see that some guys actually have learned some shit and were able to put it to use on the field. Until now, a lot of our game film showed ten slapdicks out there trying to stay out of Jeff Thomas’ way. Today, we saw Hoobler and Webb step up to being real Big Ten football players. I don’t want to say that this was a career game for either one of those cats, because we should be expecting that both of them can play at that level every Saturday.

As for the Defense as a whole, this was the first time that you could see that we were able to put some fear into the team on the other side of the ball. Yes, Ohio State was still able to rip off some serious yards on the ground when we dicked up how we covered the gaps, but when the shit went right the blitz packages worked. I can tell you that we’re all pretty relieved around The Nez that Coach Ekeler is going to be able to get some sleep this week.

From @adam_phipps: What did you say to Pagan after the 2 drive-killing false starts on what should have been tying drive?

Some fucking choice words, that’s for sure. Mostly to shake that cat out of his own goddamm head. Don’t crap too much in that kid’s ‘fro — remember he’s been bounced around on the line from guard to tackle as we deal with a bunch of dudes getting dinged. When Eckert went down, Justin shifted back out to tackle. Not an excuse, but he probably had to do a little too much thinking on Saturday, and I know at least for me that can lead to trouble.

From @JPCIV: Did you instruct Alexander Webb to kill on that Braxton Miller hit?  (continue reading…)

CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

So Coach, what exactly was going on out there?

That’s the fucking million dollar question, isn’t it? Pretty easy to take it at face value and breakdown what’s working and what’s not. The offense works when the ball stays in the hands of Tre and JuCo on the ground. The passing game only works for about the first 15 yards down the field. Granted, playing Northwestern isn’t exactly like lining up against the Baltimore Ravens, but we’re grabbing every goddamm positive we can get. When we put together the extremely fucking short highlight film of 2011, you’re going to see a bunch of stuff from our offense from this game.

What you really want to talk about is the defense, right? Hell, you don’t even want to know about the front seven — the real question is what the fuck is up in the secondary? Well, the best way to put it is absolutely fucking nothing is working. Playing Northwestern was just another of about the three worst case scenarios we’ve faced. They’ve been running the same spread offense since I helped build it around 2000. They’ve also got smart kids who don’t make any mistakes — lots of juniors and seniors who’ve done the same things over and over. What we lined up against them were a bunch of freshmen — ones for whom we’ve tried to make this shit as simple as possible. Honestly, we’ve only got four or five different things we do out there with these guys. All week in practice, Mallory and Shelby run these fucking looks over and over until they get them right, but come game time when just one thing goes wrong we get burned pretty much every time. Why? I want to say ‘who the fuck knows’, but the real answer is young kids making mistakes, probably not enough of the right sort of coaching, and a very real gap in confidence. We’ve moved beyond our “come to Jesus” moment…

How much do we really need to talk about this game in detail? The offense looks like it’s making progress, to the point where we’re almost scoring enough points to win a game. The defense pulled an “Is what it is…”* today — they sure as fuck better show at least some semblance of improvement next week. Shouldn’t be that hard as almost anything will be better than that shitshow.

Return of the #helmetsticker banner!!

(continue reading…)

CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

So Coach, how did this game in Iowa compare with what happened in Madison?

Almost looked like we could play fucking Big Ten football for a while there, didn’t it? Looking at the time of possession numbers and the fact we didn’t give up any turnovers. We had a quarterback who showed he could play a little and move the chains, and we’ve got a running back in JuCo who’s shown he can produce on a consistent basis. We also saw a receiver or two show up — we got the sort of good stuff out of Cody Latimer that we’ve been waiting to see from a number of other slapdicks on the roster. Other than that, our special teams held their ground and the defense was only slightly better than fucking hopeless. On the whole, this week was a step up — not much of a goddamm step — but we’re at least going somewhere.

Going forward, has Roberson established himself as the #1 QB and what does that mean for play selection?

Well no shit. We’ve all been watching the same games, right? Since August I’ve been telling you that this High School kid is pretty good — the thing is now that he’s been given a chance the last couple of weeks it’s pretty fucking obvious he’s our best shot to move the ball with the ball in his hands. Is there room for improvement? Fuck yeah there is… at least three more years of room. So far this year we have absolutely zero threat of making a big play happen on offense — the line can’t push out a big enough hole and there’s no vertical passing game. Tre gives us just a little more chance of making something big happen. Now Larry the Cable Coordinator needs to teach the kid how to throw the long ball.

Victory Bacon & Eggs - Submitted by @joshmenzies

Looking up the schedule, what games to you see as real chances for a win?

First of all slapdick, every game from here on in is a chance for a win — I don’t go into breakfast every Saturday morning and order up a big plate of #victorybacon not thinking we’ve got a real shot of winning. Conventional wisdom amnonst you out there in the collective braintrust say that we might have a shot against Northwestern and Purdue. I can tell you right now neither of those teams is coming to Bloomington planning on losing. If Ekeler and Mallory can get their shit together on their side of the ball, and get their cats to make some stops, there’s a legitimate chance we can beat anyone from here on out. Unfortunately, that seems to be a big fucking ask.

(continue reading…)

CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

Tough game, Coach… what was your general impression?

Alright, first of all, we’re going to keep this pretty short because I think you slapdicks know there’s not a hell of a lot to say after what just went down. You’ve all heard the Denny Green line “They were who we thought they were”, right? Well that’s what happened here – all fucking week people were saying that Wisconsin was going to hang 80, 90, or 100 on us. That didn’t happen. We definitely got our ass kicked, but it happened to be by a team that has fucking genuine shot to win a national championship. I should know — I’ve seen those up close. That team isn’t done kicking the shit out of other teams in this conference either — good luck with that Minnesota.

As for what we did out there as a team — more of the same: couple of moments that we looked almost competent, then a whole lot of dogshit. JuCo looked solid with his big play and a bunch of other yards. There might also be some guys on the O-line that grade out almost half way to passable. Kofi Hughes gets some dap for stepping in and taking some snaps with the Wildcat look — you slapdicks though I was kidding when I started talking single wing last week, didn’t you?

Other that, we looked pretty much like shit. I thought Ekeler and Mallory had been making progress with the defense over the past two weeks, but that sort of went to hell again. Especially in the secondary — hope our cats have learned that it’s just not enough to be in the general vicinity of the other team’s receivers. I’ll also take some blame for actually almost beginning to trust our special teams — pretty much hard to scrape a one yard punt out of your head.

Where do we go from here, Coach?

Well, first we’re going to go home and tell these knuckleheads what they did right and what they did wrong and how to fucking fix it. Then next week, we’ll go to Iowa City and try to play a whole hell of a lot better. Iowa’s a team that we can beat if we actually do a whole bunch of things right on each side of the ball — something we haven’t done yet this season. I ain’t talking miracles, just getting these cats to play the way we coach them. That’s the plan from here through the Purdue game. How many games we win isn’t about how many big plays we make or how many turnovers are forced, it’ll be about not being fucking stupid.

That should pretty much cover it…. any questions?

From @beamy_f_baby: How was it experiencing jump around?  (continue reading…)

CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

 Immediate impressions, Coach?

Good team. Tough loss. Same story*. Said it last night, we’re pretty fucking far from good — Hell, I’m not sure we can even see good from here…

What sort of upsides did you see from the team this week?

Liked the continued progress from the defense — the D-line is beginning to hold their own, making some three and outs possible. That freshman kid in at tackle is making a difference. No doubt we gotta make some tweaks in the secondary to deal with the talent some of these teams are bringing… and by tweaks I mean fixing some serious shit. Right now, teams are taking what we’re giving them, and they’re doing that pretty fucking easy.

On offense, only real takeaway was getting some more production out of JuCo at the running back position. If we get a few more completions from the passing game and a few more first downs, maybe we’ll be able to get High School back in there off his concussion and mix things up a little. The way things are going at quarterback, that Single Wing idea that’s been floated doesn’t sound entirely half-assed. 

Our special teams squads really seem to be our leaders right now — we like what we’re seeing out of Pines, Ewald, & Wynn. Also some real nice hitting by some of the young cats flying around out there on the edges. Problem is, special teams are only out there 15 or so times a game, so we can’t exactly fucking make them the center of our game plan….

How do things stand with the quarterback rotation – now there are three names in the mix, are things just getting more complicated?

Only as complicated as figuring out who’s healthiest going into gameday and who’s had the most reps in practice. Now we’ve seen all three of these cats in action, everybody’s pretty clear with what and who we’re working with. To borrow a lame-ass cliche, nobody different is going to be walking through those locker room doors. Between now and Thanksgiving, there aren’t going to be any fucking miracles at that position so don’t get your panties in bunch.

From @JeffShowalter: When you were up 10-0 did you think at all about calling in a bomb threat so game would end?

You’re not helping, slapdick…. and I think Fred just wrote that down…

Going forward into some tough conference games, particularly coming up at Wisconsin, what are you looking to accomplish?

Everybody here’s seen The Shawshank Redemption, right? About a zillion fucking times, right? Well, we’re pretty much Andy Dufrense crawling through 500 yards of shit right now, and we’re way closer to the start of that sewer pipe than the end. This Wisconsin game is just part of the shit we’re working through. We’re going to go up to Madison, try to play the best fucking game we can, and take what we can get. Hell, we might even surprise ourselves. Maybe some of you slapdicks too.

Photo Credit - @ChronicHoosier

#helmetsticker of the week:

Going out to the Train Conductor on the Ladder and his Marching Doormen for actually taking a suggestion from @FCW and installing it into the repertoire — stuck my head out the locker room door and heard the Hundred playing “Let Me Clear My Throat…” which I believe I put on the request list as early as August. Now if they’d start working on “Brass Bonanza” maybe that can get that chestnut worked up by the Bucket game.

AlrightNow… EverybodyCool? I gotta top off the chemicals in my hot tub….

*This may or may not of actually been said by the real Kevin Wilson.

CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

Still a loss this week Coach, but things are looking up — particularly on defense. What do you think made that happen?

Any time you happen to have goddamm Toby Keith on your sideline, you’re going to take your game up a notch.

Breaking down the adjustments that were made from last week to this, how did Dusty Kiel grade out in his first start?

Dusty’s did an adequate job for us on Saturday. Repeatedly I’ve said that what we need from whomever is in the game at that position is a lack of mistakes. Dusty played smart enough, but we need to see even smarter play from him. A lot of that will come from getting experience. Losing Roberts for the week took out a dimension to our run game — “High School” is the change-up back who helps stretch the LBs across the line of scrimmage. When we’re limited to using mostly Perez and Houston, Penn State was able to really play to their strengths within the box and make our QB to have to look further down his progressions, and right now we’re still learning how to do that.

Any insight on how the defense made the step up?

So how about that? Ekeler and Mallory really got their shit together this week. Honestly, it didn’t hurt that Penn State also did they’re best to play down to our level. What I think we’re beginning to see from some of our personnel is that they get what’s going on out there. No doubt, Jeff Thomas is a stud who processes what he sees on the field and makes things happen. What we finally saw today was play out of those both the guys in front of him and behind him. Shit like that translates to opportunities for sacks and INTs. We’ve still got a long way to go in not telegraphing what we’re doing in bringing pressure or backing off into coverage, but we’ve got some kids out there that are learning new skills every week. Shout out to the Hardin Brothers back there in the secondary — those cats are some slick skinny dudes.

Photo Submitted by @jasonlkennedy

@JeffShowalter: You know you’re allowed to score TD’s in the first 3 quarters, right?

Got a little ugly there in the second and third quarters with those “3 & outs” didn’t it? The upside is that we’re still hanging in there to “out adjust” our competition late in the game. Heading into the conference season we’re lining up against teams with bigger, better, and more experienced talent — fact is that we might actually wear down one of these teams with brains and guts.

Coach Johns got to spend a little quality time with me this Sunday morning in my office talking about what we can do to make sure our receivers are able to hold on to the ball. Bunch of those cats are dinged up, but not in the hands. This game in particular may have come down to some of our lost opportunities — not just on the big plays, but on the third downs that really keep our shit motoring along.

@briand_73: Is there a soccer player who can punt?

That means I’d have to deal with Mr. Smug himself, Kid Soccer Coach. (Oh, la de dah… we’re undefeated so far.. 8th Star… blah, blah, fucking blah…). Pines is getting a #helmetsticker this week for his quantity work — we’re still working on quality. We picked up a kicker or two during the Slapdick Olympics to put some heat on him and we’re out there beating the bushes through recruiting for the future, but yeah — we’ve got a long fucking way to go with our special teams. This is where those sophomores and juniors who are second and third on the depth charts need to step up and make a difference.(Except you Ewald… you’re cool. Schell too.)

Scott@CrimsonCast.com: Why is your Coach’s Show on the BTN so damn boring?!

First of all, I’d like to thank Jeremy Gray for riding herd on that snoozefest. Still can’t decide if he looks more like Vern Troyer or the bald dude from Californication. First of all, you gotta know we do that show on Sundays — not exactly when we’re all fresh as a fucking daisy if you know what I mean. Second of all, you’ve got to crack the code. There’s a reason why it airs at 11:30 on Friday mornings: so you can grab it off your DVR for a pre-party drinking game on Friday night. I’ll let you creative types make up your own rules.

#Helmetsticker of the Week:

Whoever the kids are who keep showing up with the #helmetsticker banner in the East Stands. You’re the kind of cats we need to keep this wagon moving forward — tweet @FakeCoachWilson a photo of y’all with your banner and Lexy will get some good stuff out to you.

Photo Submitted by @flyingredchair

For these rest of you slapdicks who were noticeably absent in that big empty hole in the stands in the northeast corner, get your shit together so you can join us when we make one of these 4th Quarter comebacks stick… and looking at that halfwit Zook and his Illinois team, that day may be coming soon.

Before FCW gets out of here, he’d like to apologize to the sisters of Phi Mu up there on the extension. During the game FCW retweeted a quip from a follower that didn’t put the sisters in the best light. In the words of  @RachyWills: “Not Cool”. The retweet was promptly un-retweeted and let it be known that FakeCoachWilson is sorry for his poor judgement.

Alright? Everybodycool? My ears are still ringing from the Toby Keith show, so I gotta hit the elliptical… Can’t get that “I Wanna Talk About Me” song out of my head…

CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

So Coach, any way to really describe what happened out there?

We got the living shit beat out of us by a school that spells out their full location on their helmets. That pretty much fucking covers it.

Anything more specific?

Pretty much every fucking Pop Warner coach in America could figure this game tape out: we’re getting manhandled on the lines, and on offense that means any running back whose balls have dropped can slice the shit out of us. Dunbar is a kid with plenty of talent and could probably do pretty well in the B1G, but it’s not like he had to make a whole lot of moves to get those extra yards. Then having that QB take 8 to 10 yards out of us at a time with the draw now and then was like having some dude’s drunk girlfriend come in for the bonus kick in our gut. Again, Ekeler & Mallory will have to explain to me pretty much all Sunday and Monday why we’re not keeping an extra LB in the box…..

Any upsides from this game?

Well, we’ve proven we can successfully get over 100 people on a plane, including more than a few random slapdicks, plus a couple of truckloads of shit, fly them someplace and line up eleven players on the field at the designated time. Other than that, not sure there’s a fucking thing I can point at as a positive.

With Dusty Kiel coming in late in the game and having some success, has the QB competition been re-opened?

The QB competition never closed. Honestly, if one of the miscellaneous Replogles can up and asked to take some snaps this week, I’d have Coach Smith work him in the rotation. As is, Edward has been consistently best in practice — there are no fucking smoke & mirrors here people. That’s why he starts. I’m not going to discount the results we saw out of Dusty in the second half. On tape, I guarantee you that he doesn’t grade out that great either, but points don’t lie. If he can carry that over on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday we might just see more of him on Saturday.

Any more details on the injury to Demarlo Belcher and why he couldn’t make the trip?

Training staff tells me that it was a serious but short term leg shaving accident — We’ll see him in pads at practice on Tuesday.

Reports have it that Darius Willis was seen in a cameo role at a minor league professional wrestling show in Indianapolis on Saturday night — care to comment?

Again, I rather talk about the cats who actually played this game, but we also have a responsibility to all the kids in the program — with his Darius may never play a down of football again, and if he wants to put a tape together to try and bust in that line of work, I’m happy to pass it on to my good friend and former Oklahoma neighbor Jim Ross from the WWE — Just means another kickback paid in BBQ sauce and mustard to me.

Any reaction to tweets reporting that most of the TVs at Sports were turned to the UFC event before the end of the game?

This is the sort of thing I should be pissed off about, but it’s pretty far fucking down on my shit list right now. Honestly, I bet the kids at Sports saw a lot better hitting from those greased up bohunks then they saw after watching the first half of our game. Right now, we’re fighting to earn the respect of our fans and we’ve got a fuck of a long way to go.

We understand that Kevin Bush has left the team — anything in particular?

In all seriousness, Kevin just felt he no longer had the drive for the game that he once had when he came into the program. Kevin Bush is a man who walked the hard miles to earn his right to pursue any path he chooses in life, and right now that’s not football. We thank him for his time with us and especially for his service to our country. It was an honor for me and the young men on this team to be able to work and play with a man like Kevin.

(FCW believes that he speaks for all Hoosiers fans in expressing his thanks and gratitude to Kevin Bush and wishing him the best in all future endeavors)

Any #helmetstickers for the week?

Only for those Hoosiers who turned out in pretty respectable numbers in the shithole that is Denton, Texas. Thanks for coming out — if we’re ever down that way again, it better fucking be  at the Cotton Bowl….

Thanks, Coach…

Alright? Everybodycool? Got to get to the CVS for a new bottle of Gold Bond….

CrimsonCast is proud to be the home of The Fake Coach Wilson Fake Post Game Show.  All questions are answered by @FakeCoachWilson.  If you have questions for @FakeCoachWilson for the North Texas Fake Post Game Show, send via twitter to @CrimsonCast or @FakeCoachWilson.  Or you can e-mail longer questions to Scott@CrimsonCast.com.  Check back the Sunday after every IU Football game for the #FCWFakePostGameShow.  Enjoy #Slapdicks!

Congrats Coach on your first victory — good day for @FakeCoachWilson, right?

Never a bad day that starts and ends in #victorybacon.

What were the upsides to take away from Saturday?

Lots of things jump out at me – Ed Wright-Baker keeps getting a little smarter, getting a better handle on things. Looks like he’s able to work down the progression a little more. Hope you all got a good look at where we stand with our QBs so we’re all on the same page — Dusty can do the job when he needs to and Tre can take a snap, but EWB’s just a little further down the road. Now if he’d just hold on to the fucking ball…

Nice to have D’Angelo Roberts have a bit of a break out — with putting up a 100 yard game  means come the conference games, opponents will have to respect the run that much more. The kid runs behind his pads and can push through trash.  If he stays healthy, in another couple seasons he’ll have some serious shit in his neck.

Not sure if you slaps noticed, but I actually saw one of our DTs run down a tailback from behind in the 3rd.  Our conditioning work paid off, especially with the jumbos.

Lots of changes in the O-Line? What’s the story?

Had a lot of younger players step up in practice this week, and maybe some veterans who didn’t put out the same sort of effort.  Started three freshman on the O-Line, and even though we saw an absolutely recocculous number of false starts and holding calls, we still like their willingness to do work.  McDonald too — tough day for that kid.  Need a hell of a lot more help blocking from our TEs too.

Fact of the matter is that watching those three freshman play is like having our own goddamm time machine.  Squint your eyes a bit, look down the road four seasons, and you’ll see three beasts who’ve got a pretty good chance of playing on Sunday.  This was a good game for them to get some blood on their jerseys, next week at North Texas too. They’ll play smarter, as I’m going to have Coach Frey do a little review on the counting thing this week.  Hopefully, the B1G officials will do the same.  Our line has got to be ready for conference play, as I’m sure Penn State isn’t fucking around.

What other problems stand out?

We all know about 19 fucking specific problems, but other than that…

The touchdown we gave away when we tried to bring just about everyone is going to get some serious review.  Too easy to read that blitz package and spooked us back into nickel and dime.  Makes it damn hard to ask the what’s left of the LBs to carry that much more of work load in the box. Rocked us back on our heels to deal with their four and five receiver sets.  Ekeler’s probably going to spend some serious time in the inversion boots thinking that one out. Also saw a shitload of arm-tackling — may have to take Ekeler’s black shirts away for a week.

Special Teams looked like fried hell. Ewald’s just about singlehandedly keeping that part of our game at close to par. The punt team is a fucking riddle — might ask the refs if we can just throw the ball down the field like in the back yard.

Anything new in game day preparations and what’s going on in The Rock?

We’re settling into how we like to do things on gameday.  I believe Coach Ekeler ran to Stinesville and back in the morning, Coach Smith made sure to clean his pipes, and I took an extra pass at the bacon this morning. The kids each have their own things, but I think we can guide them with things like “The Walk”, meetings, etc.  Just hoping we don’t have a goddamm RedStepper go rogue and throw a monkey wrench at us.

It was a hell of a day for football — goddamm shame that a good chunk of our students didn’t stick around to see our team finish out a win.  A shit ton of those kids are going to be paying for a tan come February when they could have been topping off their pasty white hides out in the East Stands.  I know we need to play better football to keep them there in the second half, but I’d also like to see a little better work out of them, as that first down routine is getting annoying.

Going to have to go back and watch the tape of the SCSU Marching 101. I hear reports that the Champagne Girls were spectacular. Hope the Doorman on the Ladder and his nerds got a good look.

Heard plenty of good things from our tailgating efforts — great crowd over at Hoosier Village, lots of good crockpot action, plenty of queso.  Still warm enough out there for body paint, which is something we like to see.  The DJ seems to be doing solid work — though I’d like to hear a little more New Orleans bounce music.  Quick note to the young ladies: let’s try and keep our pants on — which I understand may have been a problem for some in the Red Lot.

From David Owen (@error66): “Hey FakeCoach, what’s your thoughts about the @FakeCoachWilson & @FakeCoachEkeler phenomenon?”

What’s the last time you were genuinely interested in what the hell was up with an #iufb assistant coach or knew he had not one but two batshit insane YouTube videos?  When on an average fall Wednesday you asked yourself: “Hey, I wonder what the coaches up at The NEZ are having for lunch? It’s #CrockpotWednesday!”  I was a Math major at UNC – I like to count shit… but sometimes in football there are intangibles — in this case the definition of a slapdick is somebody who doesn’t get it. (…and I’m pretty sure most of you have worked “slapdick” into your vocabularies.)

Any other fake Twitter accounts you’d like to see?

Don’t really know enough folks around here well, but maybe a @FakeTimGarl, @FakeKidSoccerCoach, or @FakeCreepyHPERSaunaGuy. Not sure what that last one is about… just sounds funny.

From Matt Stryker (@matthewstryker, Follower #1000): “Hey Coach — love the #helmetsticker program, but three weeks in and I don’t see any stickers on the helmets. What’s up with that?”

We like to keep a clean look – that’s why we got rid on the stripes. The stickers go on the inside of the helmets.

#helmetsticker of the week: These guys with the #IUFB body paint – www.twitpic.com/6mc2dt. Two #helmetstickers to hashtag chick. (photo credit: Marc Bever)

Ok, is that it? Everybody cool? I got shit to do….

(Sidebar: @FakeCoachWilson would like readers to know that when they get a #helmetsticker on Twitter from the coach, chances are he’ll send you a real #helmetsticker. Also stay tuned for more information about the “I’m @FakeCoachWilson” sticker contest at the North Texas tailgate & game.)